Your Singleness Is Not Dead Time. It’s Your Time!

by Michael Person,

When you’re single what does that mean to you? When you’re single it means it’s time to get into you! It’s not time to lose hope but to become excited about finding yourself uninterrupted. Most people run from and are deathly afraid of being single because they really do not like being with themselves. Sometimes being single can suggest that we’re in a state of failure and that makes us feel very uncomfortable. Your single time is about looking at you and determining what part you have played (if any) in your own life. Not just with broken relationships but in every aspect of your life. It doesn’t mean that you get to sit around waiting for someone to show up to make you happy. When it comes to the celebration of a relationship it’s B.Y.O.H. That means “bring your own happiness”! If you do not have any to bring you more likely than not drain your partner off there’s. Or Vice versa! P

Here’s some big questions to ask yourself while single. What are some things that need fixing? What’s been broken? What lesson did I learn from the experiences beforehand? Do I have effective boundaries, rules and limitations in place? Being single is not dead time. It is the time you should be most alive to yourself. Your singleness allows you time to self assess. To make an assessment of oneself can be very difficult simply because the easiest person to lie to is yourself.

Here’s a question that I ask most clients who are struggling with being single, “Have you ever dated yourself?” And most of the time those who are unhappy and single respond with a confused look on their face and say, “no”. Most often they’re saddened not because they’re single but because of what they think they’re missing because they’re single and who they’re forced to spend time with. But the questions do not stop there. I also ask,” what is it about your singleness that saddens you “? And they usually respond, “being alone.” Or “having no one to talk to, special days go by without companionship”, etc! Most people in the time of singleness never stop to think about how they can take care of themselves. Instead they want someone else to do it. Just think about this if you don’t want to spend time with you why would anyone else want to?

Being single can be one of the most rewarding times of our life. If we just take the time to discover ourselves and invest in our long term spiritual, physical and mental well-being we’d be a lot better off.

Being single is the best time to discover who you are. Ask yourself right now who are you? Not what you do or what your name is, but who are you? What is your cause of action? What drives you? When you woke up this morning, before you rolled out of bed, how would you define who you are? If you cannot answer that question, no problem. But I will say this: we should all get to know that person. When you’re single that is the absolute best time to self assess.